Ush’s Story
How selflove and fitness changes my trajectory!
I was never fit, in fact I was always the bigger kid in school, but the age of 14 I was a size 14 whereas other classmates were 8’s or 10’s … Within 3 years of high school in the middle of my university career, I had emotional eating issues and was depressed… I’d gone from a 14 to a size 24 and over 107kg!
I tried going to the gym, but pasta, cheese and a bottle of something alcoholic would always win!
One summer I ended up heading to the USA to work in a summer camp, there I was eating rubbish food like PB and jelly sandwiches, grilled cheese and chips and somehow I managed to lose 1 stone (without thinking about it).
Amazing right… It would have been all that walking up and down hills, swimming and hiking… generally being active that helped me shift a little weight!
So when I came back to the U.K. I was determined to lose the weight and joined a well known slimming club and hey presto lost another 16 lbs, it was at that point I became obsessed with the scales.
I didn’t learn anything from that slimming club, except that ‘the scales were the most important thing each week, and being simmer of the week was what I needed ot aspire towards!’ This was the start of my Yo-Yo dieting career and the start of Bulimia, yes I had my second eating disorder.
Within 10 months I was seriously malnourished, and I became an ill size 10 (I’d dropped 50kg+ in 10 months!), with saggy skin and no vitamins or minerals in my body, I found myself in hospital on a drip!
Funnily it was at this point I started getting attention from men, family and friends… When I was at my worst! This world is so funny!
Luckily the stint in hospital was the wakeup call I needed and I started eating food again, unluckily the weight crept back on and I became a size 18.
After that to control my weight I tried every diet under the sun… super high fat and low carb diet, atkins, meal replacements (I only lasted 2 weeks), Low GI, Bootea and more… At one point I thought I found the ke(to!) and ate high fat as well as trained intensely every day for a month losing a lot of weight and becoming a good looking 12! (you’d think that was it right?)
Nope, not at all! After coming of my high fat diet keto diet, I put on the lbs that I lost and doubled it yes… putting on 20lbs and becoming a size 16! I was so lost… things worked and then they didn’t … I thank God that at this point in my life I realised I’d hurt my body so much that I knew it was time to treat her right! And that dieting was not the key!
So, I started going to boxing classes and it was there I met the coach who changed my life (and I cannot thank him enough). Since 2014 when I met my lifting coach my life and career has completely changed I found a new love for weight training and functional fitness… and I haven’t looked back!
Slowly I started losing weight and toning, I became happier and healthier and actually loved what my body could do rather than hating her for being fat!
Yes, I stopped hating her!
Fast forward half a decade, I’ve lost fat, I’m a size 12, I am healthy and happy and I’m able to eat everything I want in moderation!
This love for fitness and weight training transpired into my new career path as a ) Personal Trainer (I was previously a Senior Account Manager in eCommerce) and an online fitness coach for women who have suffered with eating disorders, body dysmorphia and mental health.
As a Fitness Coach I aim to hold space and help people see that fitness isn’t just about aesthetics, it’s mainly about your mental health and physical achievements.
My journey hasn’t been easy and I’ve failed numerous times, but I’ve always after a blip managed to get right back on it and refocus! I’m nowhere near the end of my journey… for this was never about what I looked like, it was more about who I was as a person and how I felt (sexy, happy, calm, beautiful etc)
Don’t get me wrong bulimia and emotional eating hasn’t completely disappeared but I’m able to manage it when I feel triggered. I think knowledge is the basis of all success and I’m thankful to my coach without whom, I don’t know where I would be today!
The journey to a healthy mind, body and soul is not easy… but it will be worth it!
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