Fee Teng’s Story

Mental Health in Competitive Sport

Mental health as an athlete is a strange one, we’re almost expected to be this strong, resilient being that cannot be broken down. But the truth is, we are no more special than those who aren’t athletes. And it wasn’t until a couple of years ago when I realised that if you don’t pursue the right mindset in sport, it’s so easy to let it takeover your life and consume your emotional well-being. When you’ve dedicated your whole life to this single sport, it’s so easy to get consumed into this world of pressure that ultimately is, just made up inside our own heads. The constant pressure to perform, the soul-crushing feelings of loss, to the feeling of never being good enough. The danger is the amount of things that are outside of our control that could really affect us mentally – from a bad line call, to a bad performance, to an unfair team selection, to winning or losing a match, or even to just being able to go out to train let alone compete (which is what Covid-19 has brought).

The nature of sport also brings a whole world of social comparison, whether we are aware of it or not. You often see people that you were once competing with or even winning against, suddenly doing so well, and making that leap into the real business end of the sport. You can’t help but compare yourself, ‘When will that be me, if ever? When will my time come?’ It can almost seem unfair, because you’ve given your life to the sport, you’ve worked so hard day-in and day-out, yet you still can’t seem to get the results that you want. To be honest, it can be quite demoralising at times.

But when I finally stopped comparing myself to others and allowing my self-worth to be defined by my performances, I was able to see failure as an opportunity rather than a setback. Not being attached to the outcome but focusing on being better than myself each day. The ability to be brutally honest with myself, to enable me to truly be ME and not worrying about what others thought of me. And most of all – be kind, always. Because every other individual has a life just as complex as your own, and you never know what crazy battles they may be going through as well. All of this is definitely a lot easier said than done, and it’s something that I still am and will always be working on.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that when you look at things in a different way, your mental well-being can be a lot more within your control. And for me, this is where gratitude comes in. Sure, I’m gonna be hugely disappointed after a loss, but at the end of the day, if my biggest issue is losing a match or having a bad performance, then I’m already doing pretty well in life. “Pressure is a privilege” is something I like to remind myself when I’m feeling overwhelmed by a situation. Life is so much bigger than the sport you play, or the occupation that you have. How lucky I am to be here, to be doing something that I love, and most importantly that I and my loved ones are healthy and okay. That’s what is truly important in my life, everything else is just a bonus. I’ve found that practicing genuine gratitude can really go a long way. The realisation of how much you have, and that there is always someone out there wishing they could have your life, and there is always someone out there going through something far worse than you. Look around you, and think of 5 things that you are grateful for today.