Anita’s Story

My name is Anita Planella, I'm from Chile, I'm 18 years old and I play Field Hockey. I have been playing since the age of 5. But this is not the only sport I do, I love sports in general, I enjoy exercise because it helps me to distract myself, to relax and I learn new things, techniques and skills which I enjoy a lot as I like learning new things, which helps me to challenge myself and go further and improve every time.

My personal experience with mental health started when I returned from New Zealand, where I went as an exchange student for 4 months. When I returned to Chile, I gained weight in an unhealthy way, as I had very bad nutrition back in New Zealand, and also I was doing less sport and physical activity that I usually did here in Chile. Well, as I arrived with more weight on my body, people noticed, at the beginning I didn’t mind about it, but when many teachers, coaches, family and peers began to talk about my body I got worried and wanted to do something about it. So the first thing I thought was going to a nutritionist for being able to reorganize my eating habits in a healthy way. I was very keen and happy to lose weight in a healthy way, with sports and a balanced diet.

Everything went well for the first weeks, I was losing weight  and began feeling better with myself, but when I went to a check up with the nutritionist, she told me that I was fat and If I didn’t stop eating unhealthy things I will never lose weight, she said that if I didn’t lose 5 kg from that day to the next appointment, losing weight for me was impossible. So after that appointment I was really shocked and didn’t know what to do. My coaches were also telling me I needed to lose weight so, I decided to do something, I looked up on the internet (worst thing I did) how to lose weight fast. And many pages came up where I could stay up all night looking for the fastest one. So I began with the military diet, I thought this was a very good way as I could still do sports.

I didn’t last long, until I found and discovered the thing that it still is in my life, vomiting. Eating and puking right away after eating. I could eat very healthy but felt guilty and vomit. It was so bad that I lost 7 kg in 3 weeks, I lost almost all my muscles. Well I Returned to the nutritionist and she told me I only lost 3 kg so I decided to stop going with her, and decided to do it by myself in an UNHEALTHY WAY. Every single day I woke up and weighed myself, I would eat a small breakfast, and it was the only thing that I didn't vomit.

I went to school and didn’t have a snack so I waited until lunch time to eat, where I ate very few food and sometimes vomited it right away. I had training in the afternoon, sometimes 2 training sessions and I was always thinking about the calories I ate and how much I was burning. I arrived home had a quick meal and went to the toilet. After a few weeks this wasn’t working so I decided to also add more training sessions to my already full schedule of training every week.

I became so obsessed with this that it became a habit. This began in 2017, and in 2019 was the first time I talked with my therapist about it, and also had the chance to open up to my mum and tell her to. Where I'm still getting help, I'm not fully recovered but I'm getting better every day.

I think that sport helps in a positive way our mental health, in my experience sports has helped me to go through rough times where I can free my mind for a couple of hours. Everyone has problems and responsibilities, and for me sport has helped me a lot to escape from my routine and clear my mind from rough times and days. I wouldn’t imagine a day without sports, it helps me to have a happy day and also I feel more active. And this past month I have realized that sports have affected in a positive way in my recovery as I love sports and use it as a method of clearing my head and enjoying myself and also I consider sports as one of my therapy sessions.

My advice to people which do sport and struggle with mental issues is to never quit, don't stop doing sports and what you like because you are going through a tough time, sport will help you to be active and stay in a healthy way, it will improve your mental health issue and will help you to just clear your head. It’s also a time for yourself to think about you and worry about you. Never quit because you are going through a rough period of time, it will all get better and it will take time but never leave sport, it will make you feel better.

It would have been amazing if someone told me that I don’t need to be skinny for being able to be the best I can be in my sport, that I don't need to have the “ideal” woman's body for being a sports women, that having bigger legs was normal for a hockey player. Through time I have realized that all of this things and advices have been appearing in my life because of my therapist, which is a feminist therapist who has teached me a lot about feminism, where I am learning how to love and accept my self just the way I am.

Be yourself, be what you want to be, enjoy sports don't feel it’s an obligation or an excuse to burn calories, make it a habit, a healthy habit for making your life happier and more active, sport is a very good way of clearing your head, there are many sports, just look for yourself and enjoy it!